self-parenting
How to Tell Your Parents
It may not be easy, but you can do it. Try the following:
Ask your parent(s) to set aside some time for you so you can talk about a matter that's important to you... then share your situation.
Be honest and direct.
Understand that they may be angry, but it is something you can work through. Ask for their input.
Share with them your decision to self-parent or place for adoption.
What to Expect
Expect insane amounts of crying. Expect...oh, so many diapers.
Expect spit up... everywhere.
Expect little to no sleep.
Expect the inability at times to figure out what your baby is needing.
Expect to feel incapable sometimes,
this is normal.
Hopefully you experience unconditional love, the desire to take responsibility for your decisions, a less self-focused life, and a joy you never knew existed.
What NOT to Expect
Don't expect parenting to be easy. It's not easy now or ever.
Don't expect to know how to be the perfect parent...parenting is an ongoing learning process!
Don't expect to do it alone...ask for help. We need each other!
Don't expect for your life to NOT change, because it will...drastically.
Don't expect the perfect child...doing so will cause you both a lot of heartache.
Still in School?
With the right support and determination, you can be a great parent AND reach your educational goals. If you are pregnant or parenting, your school, by law, must allow you to go to school, participate in extracurricular activities, and access the same quality classes as the other students. Your school cannot make you go to an alternative school. The best place for you to start is with your school's guidance counselor or Title IX coordinator to learn more about how the law protects you.
Parenting Resources
Every state and county has different community resources, but a great place to start is at your local pregnancy resource center. The PRC in your area may provide a free ultrasound, connect you with an obstetrician, community nursing programs, and also provide material assistance to you once your baby is born... such as diapers, formula, a carseat, and a pack n play. Your obstetrician and pediatrician's office can also provide you with community resources to help alleviate the cost of caring for an infant or child. See Where to Go below to connect with your local PRC.
Healthy Relationships
Adoption
Open Adoption
Open adoption is allowing the birth mother (that's you) to make most of the decisions in the adoption, including how much contact you wants with the adoptive family and the child. This contact varies per adoption. It might include periodic phone calls on holidays or birthdays to regular personal visits between families.
Closed Adoption
Closed adoptions refer to adoptions where there is little to no contact between the birth and adoptive families. About 1 out of 10 birth mothers choose closed adoptions. Connect with an adoption agency to find out more information about your adoption options. See Where to Go below.
Myths
It’s no surprise that the statistics on adoption show how much adoptive parents cherish the time they have with their children. They appreciate every day the opportunity to be a mom or dad. Don't let misconceptions keep you from making an informed decision. Know the truth about adoption's misconceptions. Read this article.
Statistics
1.8 million adopted children in the U.S.
Approximately 135,000 children are adopted in the U.S. each year.
62% of children adopted privately are placed with the adoptive family when they are newborns or less than 1 yr old.
Over 90 % of adopted children ages 5 and older have positive feelings about their adoption.
Check out americanadoptions.com.
Famous Adoptees
There are so many famous adoptees. They include:
Marilyn Monroe
Faith Hill and
Steve Jobs
(just to name a few)
Read this article for a list of more famous adoptees as well as enter the website adoption.com for more adoption information.
Where to Go
Looking for an adoption agency to connect with? Click here to enter the National Infertility and Adoption Directory. You can search adoption agencies by state.
You can also connect with local adoption agencies through a Pregnancy Resource Center in your area. Click here to find a local pregnancy center to find out more about your adoption options.